How to Best Stand Out and Thrive in a Crowded Market - BM387

Susan Friedmann [00:00:31]:

Welcome to Book Marketing Mentors, the weekly podcast where you learn proven strategies, tools, ideas, and tips from the masters. Every week, I introduce you to a marketing master who will share their expertise to help you market and sell more books. 

Today, my special guest is Mike Rayburn, Mike is a hall-of-fame speaker and 2 time TEDx presenter who inspires a new mindset and real solutions for organizations who want to elevate, innovate, and transform. Mike solutions are bold, effective and proven. The true inspiration, however, stems from Mike's experiential approach. He uses a top notch guitar and humor to craft transformative programs. He's been showcased at Carnegie Hall and highlighted in Las Vegas. 

He's a speaker colleague and a dear friend, Mike, what an absolute pleasure it is to welcome you to the show. And thank you for being this week's guest expert and mentor.

Mike Rayburn [00:01:35]:

Oh, Susan, thank you so much. I'm more than honored to beat you here. We've known each other and worked together so much. I'm just floored that you would allow me to share with you to have a little conversation.

Susan Friedmann [00:01:47]:

Well, you're just so brilliant in so many different ways. And, of course, I known you 1st and foremost as an entertainer, a virtuoso guitarist, and now you've just changed and elevated your programming to transformations, and you offer incredible transformative solutions to your corporate clients. Now as you know, you and I were talking prior to the show, you know, our authors are solopreneurs, entrepreneurs. They've got a book. They're looking to get out there and promote themselves. What are some of the ways that you might recommend in terms of maybe even changing their mindset so they can stand out from the crowd because this is what they want to do. They want to stand out and be noticed.

Mike Rayburn [00:02:40]:

It's a great question. Obviously, whether you were talking about a book or we're talking about a professional speaker or a musician, or any kind of an artist, especially, or just any kind of a business. What you're looking for is your uniqueness.

What I really get tired of reading or hearing is when someone comes along, it's a new book, and I'll open it up. And they basically say something that I read in Thinking Grow Rich or I read in the success principles by Canfield. So what I encourage, first of all, approach, love, and embrace your uniqueness and what you bring to the table that no one else does your thought leadership.

Now thought leadership is not regurgitating what you heard. Thought leadership means taking what you've heard. I mean, obviously, those feed what we do. And bringing your own take on it, bringing your own presentation to it, and that almost always comes from your uniqueness.

One of the things I've pointed out in my programs is that I still get people who come up and say, you know, I heard what you said about we're all creative and I'm not really creative. I'm not worried about it. And this politically incorrect, but most of them work with numbers just saying, and it's patently false where each created the key is every one of you listening right now is creative in a different way than everyone else.

My wife and I, Kimberly, we run these what if weekends? And one of the questions that we and you'll learn about what if in just a little bit is what is it that you do better than anyone on this planet? Or said another way, what is it that you and you alone can do? And every one of you has an answer to that question. Every one of you has something that you do better or differently or in in a unique way other than anyone in on this planet. And quite often, it'll be a combination of things. So look there.

You know, there's certain people who are, you know, somebody's this one of the best country singers ever. Okay. And that's what they bring to the table. However, mine was never a one thing. Mine is a combination, and I I'm not bragging to say this because every single one of you listening has one. Mine is that I tell people, because I use guitar and comedy to teach innovation, creativity, and change. I call myself keynote artist, I also will point out that I'm not the greatest guitarist in the world. I'm not the greatest speaker in the world, and I'm not the greatest comedian in the world. I am, however, the greatest combination of all three of them. Now I'm also the only combination of all three of them. So it's a small category, but that's also what you wanna become. You wanna become a category of 1.

So I would say that's 1st of all, and second of all, don't be afraid to highlight what might be a little contradictory or a little controversial or a little contrarian in what you do. I'm blessed to have a a great friend who, most of you will know. His name is Doctor John Gray. He wrote men are for ours, women are from Venus. Well, he and I were talking about this 2 weeks ago about how when he came out with that in 1979, it was revolutionary. To say that we were different to say that we respond in different ways. And he got on these touches back then it was Donna Hugh and Sally Jesse Rafael and some of those. If you remember those, and they would actually set up ambush interviews where he didn't know that all these three people are coming on to refute what he's saying, and he basically want.

And the key there takeaway I want you to get from that is that he did something that was boldly different. That's how he stood out. So even if you have something, for instance, my program is called what if if you were to throw it into a category, there's plenty of speakers who speak on, hey. You have unlimited potential. The sky's the limit. I'm in that category if you were to put it that way. However, my whole take on how to use the question, what if my presentation using guitar and comedy rather than PowerPoint and statistics, and then taking that and making it a book, those make me stand out. So that's what you're looking for. Does that make sense?

Susan Friedmann [00:06:32]:

Oh, it certainly does. That unique nose, as you said, and Just before, you said the words category of 1. I wrote down category of 1, and I was like, oh, he stole my words. You've read my mind. Yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry. We've gotta give Joe Callaway the credit for that. Any event, your uniqueness and being different and doing something that you do best. There, I feel that often people get stuck just because I can do something. I automatic actually think, oh, well, if I can do it and I'd find it easy, well, everybody does because it's so easy to do. However, that is definitely a flaw in that thinking because

Susan Friedmann [00:07:22]:

Yes. -- not everybody can do what you do, even though you think it's simple. You know?

Mike Rayburn [00:07:28]:

Yes. You can just define what's one of my daily challenges. Is I quite often assume, just as you said, if I can do it easily, then that means everyone else can. So I need to find something that's hard, and then I'll do that. When actually identifying what comes easily to you, yet others have challenges with or don't do as well, That's a good place to look for your uniqueness. For instance, my wife, Kimberly, on one hand, she's one of the most creative people I've ever known. She has the rare combination of being extremely creative and extremely linear thinking left brain. She can organize anything. She was an executive assistant for 2 financial advisors. So she knows organization and linear thinking organizational approach. It just comes natural to her. She doesn't have to think about It just flows, and it just doesn't from me. 

And so find that thing that you just find  so easy and others look for. For me, one of the things I do is I'll do, like, country versions of non-country artists, or I'll do Bob Marley sings Garth I'll do, like, mash-ups, but they're not electronic like DJs do. I'm the electronics. It's the human mash-up. And so I will do some of those artists. And one of the things I do is I'll sing the top 8 songs of the 19 eighties all to the tune of every breath you take. 

So I'm playing Every Breath You Take, and I'm singing you know, don't stop believing and born in the USA and, wanna dance with somebody. And they all fit to that. And to me, it's easy. I hear those songs and I hear all they go together, and I don't even think twice about it. So at first, I thought, well, I can't do that because that's just too easy. No. That's my uniqueness. That's what I can do that a lot of other people can't. One of the things you might do is to discover this is ask your friends. The people who've got your back, the people who support you, ask them, you know, what does you see me doing easily that others find difficult? What is it that you always look to me for an answer for. And you might already know that. That's at least one place to start looking.

Susan Friedmann [00:09:26]:

Yes. Asking someone else because they see you very differently than you see yourself. And we're often, you know, and I'm speaking from experience, you know, very critical of ourselves, whereas other people, as you say, they see us you know, in a different light, oh, I always come to you because I know you've got the answer to x, or you're going to think of something creative where I might not see the wood for the trees, so to speak. So I love that asking somebody else for help to see you differently, see yourself differently, your blind spot.

Mike Rayburn [00:10:02]:

Right. Yeah. What you don't see about yourself. Exactly. Because, really, our true selves, on one hand, there's things that Each of us knows about ourselves that no one else does, and we know that that's true. And that's just plain the way it is. And there are certain things that everyone outside of us sees, and we don't And so the reality of who we are is somewhere in between there. And I'll give you an example. I always knew that my gifts were with music, with, entertainment, with comedy, with, I don't call it, wordsmithing, but I do have an ability with the language. And a friend of mine. I was in this little spiritual group, Christian group, and we were talking about our gifts and talents. And I said, well, these are mine, and I was done. And one of my best friends fact, he's the godfather of my son. 

A guy named Mark Hollingsworth said, well, Mike, I think your gift is exhortation. And I said, great. What's that? I'd never even heard the word. If you look it up, it means to strongly encourage to uplift to equip The way he said it to me was, Mike, I've seen you for years. It matters to you that the people around you do better. And when he said it, I almost cried because he nailed something that was true about me. And when he said it, I knew it was true about me, but I had not realized it. And really that's what I do now as a speaker. I'm combining those guitar and comedy skills and the ability to talk on stage and now I'm not I'm using it to uplift people to equip to exhort. It would be the word. And so he knew something about me that was not just something that he saw as an ability, but It was, like, foundational to the gifts that god gave me when I was born. So ask, you might be surprised what you find.

Susan Friedmann [00:11:40]:

Yes. Very much so. I love that example. The idea of wanting to help others, and I know you do this so well now in your virtual. So retreats. I'd love you to focus on something that you mentioned earlier too, and that is your whole what if strategy, philosophy, talk to us about that because I think that could be super applicable to our listeners.

Mike Rayburn [00:12:06]:

Sure. The basic way I set it up, when I share this because this is the foundational message that I have in pretty much every presentation that I do. Is that first of all, the foundational cognizant thought is questions. Our brains are asking and answering questions literally thousands of times a day. And so the way we program, in fact, the first thought, if you read, you know, the great philosophers, All of them basically agreed that the first human thought was a question. It was actually a doubt. Do I exist? They consider that to be the first thought that any human ever thought. And so do I exist? Questions are about how we program the brain.

The challenge is most of us ask really unempowering questions you know, what's on TV? And I just share that my favorite question is what if? Every time you ask the question, what if what if we could do that? What would it look like? I know we never have, but, or what if I did that, or what if I'm the one to figure this out? You open up the possibilities. The challenge is that we all have the nay-sayer We have the negative folks who throw a wet blanket on new ideas. You know, you can't do that. It's gonna cost too much money or my favorite. We've never done it that way before.

So the way I handle is this because I'm an artist. I live on ideas. I love ideas. I try to teach audiences how to discover and voice their own ideas. And so I'll get these crazy ideas. I did the first-ever cross-country concert tour on a bicycle. Writing from Sandy Hill to Brooklyn. I did a performance of Beethoven's 5th Symphony based on 2 guitars of Duette, and I played both of them. One of them was my hologram, which appeared on staging next to me. So I have weird ideas. Right? I know this one person in my life would be the one to say, Mike, you know, that's crazy. You don't have enough time for that, or that's Why are you no one's gonna care about that?

And here's what I do. I say you're right. Well, what if we could? How would we do it? I know it's probably not gonna happen. It's probably crazy. It's probably just the but what if I get or maybe, like, we discovered during COVID? What if I absolutely had to and I never had before, and it seems impossible? What if I had to? How would I do it? And what that does is it oversteps any of the fears, any of the objections, any of the obstacles, and allows you to pursue like, well, what if we did try this?

And there are 2 parts to this. 1, It doesn't mean you're gonna do it. Whatever this new idea, let's say, this just came to mind. Like, you're gonna do a book, and it's about training and nutrition and physical health. So you've decided to do what I do, to ride a bicycle across the country and do a book tour. Okay? What if we could do that? The key there in the beginning is that the lack of commitment, the lack of a commitment to the outcome is essential at the beginning of a new idea. Why? Because if there's nothing on if there's no consequences, at that moment, absolutely anything is possible.

And that's where I want every one of your listeners, me, I try to do this, all this. To start. The key is to be willing to set aside the old thinking, the old paradigm, the old way, step into the new, and say, well, What if I did this? And for the skeptics, there's a safety net here. The old thinking is still there. You could pick it up again. The key is to not be so attached to or married to or confined by the old way of doing things, the traditional way of doing things.

I mean, Susan, you did this. With your trade show book. Okay? You did something. No one had done that. No one had sought to go, hey. Well, I'll go to this company who can, you know, fish for whales rather than minnows. When you first had the idea, you just entertained it, and then you saw that it had legs so you acted on it. In fact, I'll put it this way. Every major accomplishment, invention, or unlikely victory in human history started in some way or another with a bold, "what if" question. A 150 years ago. What if we could fly? 60 years ago, what if we could walk on the moon? More recently, you know, pick up your cell phone. What if we could hold all the world's knowledge in our hands? Those were what-if questions that whether they knew they were asking that or not, that's what went through their minds.

And so that's like, well, then why are we not, especially as entrepreneurs, especially when it can feel like the world's against you? It can feel like, oh, there's so many books written. Why isn't anybody gonna read mine? Well, what if they could? What if you could get them to do that? What would you have to do to make that happen? Does that make sense?

Susan Friedmann [00:16:27]:

Without any shadow of a doubt, now what was going through my mind as you were talking about the naysayers and the skeptics was not the outside world, but the inside one. The head trash that goes on the imposter syndrome the

Narrator [00:16:44]:

--

Mike Rayburn [00:16:45]:

Yes.

Susan Friedmann [00:16:45]:

Well, you know, I tried that or, oh, I don't know if I could do that or, you know, whatever other nonsense goes on in the brain, that really help stand in the way of making those bold moves. Right.

Mike Rayburn [00:17:00]:

A couple points about that. First of all, just to dispel imposter syndrome, if you have imposter syndrome, it means you're not one. Real impostors don't get impostor syndrome. They know they're impostors. Okay? So, yeah, I remember hearing Joe Wall lead guitarist of the Eagles who also did his own songs, you know, with James Gang and life's been good to me so far, the some of those hits. He's one of the great guitarist of all time. He to this day will say he keeps thinking someday somebody's gonna see behind and realize he's really not that good. He just kinda faked his way through Okay? 

That's imposter syndrome. Well, he's not an imposter. True impostors don't get it. They're trying to be something that they're not. You're not doing nobody listening to this is doing that. So that's first thing about impostor syndrome. Second thing, what you just described there, Susan, is what I would call the negative what ifs. Because I've had people confront me on this. 

Okay. You talk about what if we could and these positive what-ifs that open up possibilities. What about the people who walked around going, What if there's an earthquake? What if I lose my job? What if she says no? What if, my book doesn't sell? What if I invest money and it doesn't work? What if I blah blah blah blah blah blah. Okay. 
Here's the thing. There's value in that. All you have to do is get rid of the negativity to it the worry side of it, What you've done is ask a very valid question. What if it doesn't sell? What are you gonna do? That's a good question to answer. The people who are most successful are the ones who answer tomorrow's questions today. K? They solve tomorrow's problems today. And so when you have a negative what if, get rid of the negativity inside it and just take it out and say, well, yeah, let's see. 

What if I don't get shocked? Well, I could go to some other place and then try it. I could learn a new skill. I could, you know, start solving that problem. Number 1, it gives you some very valid information. And number 2, it protects your downside so that you don't have that negativity rolling around in your head. Does that make sense?

Susan Friedmann [00:18:57]:

Oh, it does. It's so funny as you were saying that. And, you know, oh, answer tomorrow's problems like today. That was a throwaway line. And I'm like, Okay, Mike. That was so poignant. And it was just like a throwaway. Like, oh, yeah. Let's answer tomorrow's questions. Today. Like, anyone can do that.

Mike Rayburn [00:19:17]:

Yes. For instance, right now, I'm asking what if questions about AI. And I can solve some of them. One of the great what if questions about AI is like what if AI now replaces speakers and replaces writers? Well, first of all, For a speaker, nothing will ever replace the beauty, the power, and the simplicity of one person in front of a group of others imparting some thought or feeling or entertainment. That will always have magic and no AI will ever do that. Number 2, I think AI is right now is a kick in the butt to be more creative. Because that's what it can't do. It can draw from the creativity that's been out there, but it cannot draw from anything new. It can put some ideas together that may not have been based on your question that you ask chat and GPT or whatever. However, out create the thing, you know, out create the machine, and you can do that.

Susan Friedmann [00:20:10]:

Yeah. It's a tool. And if you see it as a tool rather than a threat, to your existence, then it's complimentary. But it's the same with, you know, when what was it? The music was put on in your Ipods and musicians were like, oh my goodness. I'm gonna lose my job. I'm not gonna any more gigs. Well, that's nonsense, as you said. Correct. The live, if you can't replace live.

Mike Rayburn [00:20:38]:

Right. I've got a friend named Dan Burrows, who's the one who taught me that whole point about the people who are most successful are the ones who will solve tomorrow's problems today. He also talked about AI. And the number one question he get because he's a technology futurist. He teaches about the future of technology, and he's world class. He's one of the, like, top influencers on LinkedIn and best selling author and Daniel Burris to look him up. One of the points he makes about AI is the big number one question people ask, is AI gonna replace humans? And the answer is no. Humans with ai are going to replace humans. So in other words, ai has been around at this moment for about 9 months as a practical tool. So imagine the internet in 1995. That's where we are. Amazon had not been created yet. EBay had not been created yet. Google had not been created yet. Okay? Those are all your opportunities right now. If you're entrepreneur, ai is where it's all going. 

The yeah. I heard speak about this recently because I've been digging into this, made the point that the industrial revolution created millionaires. The dotcom and technology revolution created billionaires. He said, AI is gonna create trillionaires. Because you can do so much with it in such little time. So the key there is to look at it as the internet in 1995. What would you do now, well? Shoot. I wish I'd learned how valuable a website was gonna be, how valuable e commerce was gonna be, you know, the how valuable a search engine's gonna Do you realize Yahoo had everything that Google did? They just didn't realize that it was that valuable. And so Google perfected search. Yahoo was actually better at it in the beginning. They just didn't know how important it was gonna be. So, anyway, yeah, they can sound a little scary. But, shoot, those are opportunities, you know, dig into it.

Susan Friedmann [00:22:27]:

Yes. Opportunities opportunities opportunities. That's what marketing is all about. It's like taking these looking at things differently and asking, as you rightly said, those what if questions. And, Mike, that's an great segue into how people can find out more about your brilliance and tap into some of your resources. So take it away.

Mike Rayburn [00:22:52]:

Well, the easiest way is to go to mikerayburn.com. And, I'll do two things. One of them is standard and one of them I'll just do for your audience. I have something called the "What If Weekly," which is essentially a blog. Make it fun and entertaining and shorten to the point. I don't know if you noticed, but my attention span, you know, squirrel I jump around. The what if weekly is I send it out on either Tuesday or Wednesday each week, and it gives you another little way to look at things differently a tool to apply a way to use the question. What if something to keep you moving forward? And it's like it's usually 5 or 600, which is it's shortened to the point.

Go to my website, which is mikerayburn.com. That's mikerayburn.com. And you'll see free, "What If Weekly" sign up, or I forget exactly what it looks like on the home page. I don't go to my own website that odd. That's an immediate resource you can use, and it's absolutely free, and you can unsubscribe at any time. And I'm pretty consistent on keeping that going.

The other opportunity as Susan well knows, my wife and I run something called the what if weekend, which is where we're gonna what if your life. We divide it into it's 3 full days and you actually stay at our house. We have a retreat space on the first floor. Oh, it's never more than, like, six people, seven people, five people sometimes. What we do is, we what if your life? 3 days, they're divided into 3 d words. The 1st day is discovery where we're gonna look at your gifts, talents, and passions. The create a vision for what you really wanna do, what you wanna do with your book, what you wanna do with your career, all the ways you can run with it.

The second day is called disrupt because all of us have limiting beliefs, toxic thoughts, toxic people in our lives that we need to get rid of. And so we go through a process of that, and we go deep. We get in there. And then the 3rd day so we got to discover, and disrupt. The 3rd day is design because we wanna leave with a plan. We'll leave with a long-term plan. Yes. That's a general plan. We're gonna leave though the most important thing is a 90-day plan because what concerns me in every presentation, every retreat, everything I do is yes, what I do in the moment, like, right now. It's more important to me or just as much. What are you gonna do with it on Monday morning when you get You know?

And so we we want a 90 day plan that starts 1st week. And so that's what you do. And if that sounds at all of interest to you, I'm gonna offer you a complimentary 30-minute Zoom call with me. We'll just talk about what your what is are, what you wanna do with your book, what you wanna do as an entrepreneur. If there's some way I can help. Number 1, I'm gonna give you value from it. I'm gonna give you some kind of, my own take on it, and I hope that that's generally tended to be valuable for a number of people. And if for some reason that what if we can make sense for you, we can explore that too. Either way, you're gonna end up with value. And quite honestly, it's 30 minutes, but we usually go a little over that.

The way to do that, if you are, if that's of any interest, is to email me, and I'm gonna give you my e this is my personal email. This is not my team, then no one else gets this. It's mike@mikerayburn.com. That's mike@mikeerayburn.com. If you'll email me and say I heard you with Susan, I will send you a link and you can sign up on my Calendly. And I have unusually, I have some free time in September. So, that's coming up.

Susan Friedmann [00:26:09]:

Well, that is so generous, Mike, and listeners. I highly, highly recommend that you take when I come on this offer. That's quite something. Thank you. And, Mike, we always end off asking our guests to leave us with a golden nugget. Some words of wisdom. What are yours?

Mike Rayburn [00:26:30]:

I thought about that. And I I think what I'm gonna say is something that I used for myself because I found myself as an entertainer in so many, like, adverse situations playing in bars where they're not listening, playing in the cafeteria of a community college at noon places that were some of them ended up being intimidated. I don't need to go on all that. The temptation when you get like that is like, maybe I should switch and do something that I think they're gonna like, or maybe I should switch and try this or whatever. And I would tell myself over and over again. Here are the words.

Do what you do. Do it the best way you know how. Do what you do. Do it the best way you know how. Because, ultimately, you bring something to the table that no one else does. And the fact is if we're all different, that means you have something we lack and we need it. The world needs it. You probably have a message that the world needs to hear or a take on things that people need to hear. Okay? So do what you do. Do it the best way you know how.

Susan Friedmann [00:27:32]:

Yeah. That gave me goosebumps as you said that. It's so poignant. Yes. Just do us do what we do and what we do best, Mike. This has been an amazing interview. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. I really appreciate you taking the time. And by the way, listeners, if your book isn't selling the way you want it or expect it to, Let's jump on a quick call together to brainstorm ways to ramp up those sales because you've invested a whole lot of time energy and money, and it's time you got the return that you were hoping for. So go to brainstorm with susan.com to schedule your free call. In the meantime, I hope this powerful interview sparks some ideas you can use to sell more books. So until next