How to Stop Feeling Sleazy About Selling Your Stuff

Transcript

Susan Friedmann: Welcome to Book Marketing Mentors, the weekly podcast where you learn proven strategies, tools, ideas, and tips from the masters. Every week, I introduce you to a marketing master who will share their expertise to help you market and sell more books today. My special guest is Christine Schlonski. She is a multi-talented leader in the field of sales, mindset, and strategies. She is the founder of Heart Sells! Academy, creator of My Heart Sells! members community, and the host of Heart Sells! Podcast.

She works with heart-centered driven entrepreneurs who love what they do, but feel apprehensive about selling this services and products. She shows them how to sell with ease, transition into the sale with grace, and close with confidence while being authentic. This supports her clients to create a business and lifestyle they love while having much more impact and freedom themselves. Wow. Christine, what an absolute pleasure it is to welcome you to the show, and thank you for being this week's guest expert and mentor.

Christine Schlonski: Thank you much for having me, Susan. I can't wait to dive in.

Susan Friedmann: While I think about it, let's tell people where you're calling in from.

Christine Schlonski: Well, I'm calling in from Germany actually. Technology makes it possible to connect all over the world and every time I get excited that we have these opportunities.

Susan Friedmann: I know. Isn't it absolutely amazing? And I love it when I have overseas guests from Australia, New Zealand, from Europe. It's just so exciting. It's such a thrill to have you here. Well, sales and sales and marketing is a subject that personally I love, but I don't think my listeners are necessarily so in love with it as I might be and you are definitely. There's this feeling that sales is sort of cheesy, sleazy, maybe a four-letter word. Why do people feel like that about sales, Christine?

Christine Schlonski: Well, Susan, I think everyone has made a bad experience in their life when they bought something, when somebody took their money and ran, or they didn't get the promised outcome. That leaves kind of an imprint. When you go out and you want to change the world, you want to deliver something of value, your subconscious will come in and say, "Well, don't be that sleazy person. Nope. We're not going to go there." And then people start to self-sabotage. Really that gives sales that kind of taste that the word has.

And also, we know it from classical movies in the industry, like Boiler Room or Wolf of Wall Street, where when people were successful and they sold successfully, that others had to suffer. Usually people who are heart-centered want to avoid at all cost to be in that same bucket, so to speak.

Susan Friedmann: Yeah, there's a sense of manipulation. I think people feel often that in order to sell, you have to manipulate. You talk about sales is love, the sort of like an opposition here, contradiction is the better word. Talk to us more about this sense of sales is love.

Christine Schlonski: Yeah. Usually when people have made that bad experience, right, they always feel like I'm taking something from the other person. It's like a transaction where I'm better off because I'm taking their money. But the reality is, when you share love, when you share happiness, these are the things that grow even though we share it, right? When you really share from your heart... For example, you've written an amazing, amazing book.

You know the person that will read it will receive so much value, or maybe you also create a course that comes with the book and so on and so forth. You are sharing your love. You are sharing your message. You're sharing why you're here. The more you share that, the more it will grow. I just feel that sales is love because you are giving the best of you to another person. You might not even know yet, right? You are sharing that love, and therefore sales is love.

Susan Friedmann: I think that is beautiful. You're absolutely right. Because I talk about the fact that it's not about selling books, but rather about the message and the value that you bring. Now, in theory, Christine, listeners write their books and they feel that way, "Wow! I've got so much value that I want to bring to the marketplace," then this baby is born and it's like, "Aah!"

Christine Schlonski: Yes.

Susan Friedmann: Now we're talking, right?

Christine Schlonski: Now we're talking. Yes.

Susan Friedmann: You've got to really now share that value and keep that sense of, I do have something valuable to share. How can we keep that perspective, the theory versus the practical side of sharing that value?

Christine Schlonski: I have not written my book yet. I'm in the process, so to speak. I think people who write their books, they experience the same thing. You think about it. You put your heart into it. Maybe you tweak the message. You spend hours and hours and hours. Then you have this beautiful... It's like a baby. The thing is done and it happens to be a book. Wouldn't you want to show the world your new creation? I have not yet met a mother who isn't showing her newborn proudly around and carries it in her arms and shares the love and the excitement about this being in the world.

Why can't we do it with our books or other creations? The more you share excitement, the more people want it, right? Because it's that positive energy.

Susan Friedmann: People want to share it and they do. They share it with their friends and family. And then they post it on Facebook, on social media in general, and then on Amazon, and nothing happens or a minimal amount of sales happen. And then two, three months out, they're like, "Oh my goodness. This didn't take off. People didn't flock to buy my book." There's this feeling of disillusionment and frustration and was this worth all the blood, sweat and tears? How can we avoid all of that?

Christine Schlonski: Well, I think first is having maybe a different expectation. Because I was just making the analogy, talking about the baby, the newborn, right? At some point, that child is going to learn how to walk. That takes time. For you if you write that book and you put it out everywhere, well, you got to keep talking about it. You got to keep sharing the excitement, that's like cheering on the child too when it falls down to get up again, until it makes the first steps. It's the same with marketing and sales.

If people don't know you yet, they need to have a good reason to buy whatever you brought out into the world. Keeping that excitement, sharing about your book, putting it into your email signature, maybe having little launch parties or doing a webinar around it and getting yourself on podcasts or summits. If you really have that message that's so valuable for other people, you need to get it out. That's work in progress. The book might be finished, but distributing the message to the masses hasn't.

Just taking one step at a time, keeping the excitement up, I think that's the main task you have. Also, interacting with your readers. Maybe you find a way to capture email addresses or start a conversation. Ask people to review your book on Amazon if they bought it. Ask people if they know other people who would benefit from reading the book. Find fun ways where you can engage and promote your book. Then over time, sales will pick up.

Maybe you have the opportunity to sell the book in bulk to a conference provider or a company, or just maybe it's organically one person at a time. But I think the important thought to have all around us is you're changing one life at a time if the person reads the book, if the message gets to that person, if they received the value. It's worth the effort to really go for it and to keep promoting and to make sure that your energy is high energy filled with excitement and love instead of disappointment and frustration.

Susan Friedmann: That truly comes from the heart. You talk about working with heart-centered people, but I could feel that heart-centeredness that you were just sharing. Yes, it's interesting because one of my international best sellers is Riches in Niches: How to Make it BIG in a Small Market. That book was published in 2007, I believe, and it's still going strong. Why? Because I've done so many of the things that you talked about. I put it in my email signature.

Every time I write a testimonial, I put that I'm the international bestselling author of Riches and Niches, and people are buying it. It may only be one person at a time, but that's okay. It's still selling. I'm still getting royalties from the book. It's like never lose faith. The fact that it may not take off in the first three months, it may not take off in the first six months, but just keep going at it.

Because as you rightly said, Christine, you just never know who might pick it up and who might say, "Oh my goodness, yes!" I've got an author who wrote a book about small businesses and equating it with softball. He found somebody on a plane, and the book was written like I would say 5, 6, 7 years ago, and he found somebody on the plane who was reading it. He just was like, oh my goodness. He got talking to this person. Next thing you know, he's invited to come and present to this person's company.

You just never know where a business is going to come from, but the book is a great door opener to different opportunities. Would you agree with that?

Christine Schlonski: Absolutely. 100%. I think you will also talk about this a lot is that it's like your card, right? Your business card. People will have your book on their desk or on their nightstand. I mean, can you imagine what that actually means if somebody has your message with them in their personal space? I just think a book is a beautiful way to get your knowledge and your message out. It's a way that can multiply if people recommend books to other people. They do the marketing for you. Yeah, definitely.

I think a book is very important because it will help you to get the credibility. Being an author is still recognized as something like a special achievement. Not everybody can write a book and wants to write a book, but you differentiate yourself. I think it's really important to work on this idea and to get your own mindset into the place where you feel the service you are doing for your listeners or for your readers. In the case of a book, the value you provide. Sometimes it just takes awhile, but what a beautiful story you've just shared.

Susan Friedmann: The mindset. Yes. I think that's so important. Such a critical aspect of everything that we do with sales and marketing. Christine, I know that our listeners love learning about mistakes. You probably can write volumes about mistakes people have made selling whether it's a book, whether it's products, whether it's their services. Talk to us about some of the most common mistakes that you see people make.

Christine Schlonski: Yeah. Well, I probably have made all the mistakes you can make.

Susan Friedmann: Me too.

Christine Schlonski: I have over 80,000 cold calls under my belt.

Susan Friedmann: Oh mt goodness!

Christine Schlonski: You can imagine not I recall was a wonderful conversation. I think the biggest for me is really the mindset. If you are going into a conversation and you already feel like, "Oh my goodness, I don't want to sell. I don't want to be sleazy. I don't want to have this and that," you are totally in your way. Shifting that mindset into a sales success mindset where your mindset supports you in your mission is the first crucial thing to work on.

And then what I also see when you still do that mindset work, it's really difficult for a lot of people to be quiet and listen. There's no need to fill the silence. When you get that message out, listen before you start write the book to your audience, to the people you want to serve how you can serve them and how they love to perceive the knowledge, right? Some people love to read books. I'm one of those. I love having a book in my hand as well.

I struggle more with the Kindle reader and all of this or the eBooks, because I like to have a highlighter and sit and highlight stuff and really work with the book. There are other people who just love video, who don't really like to read a book. If you have more of those in your audience, find a way how you can present maybe in combination with a book so that people actually buy it. Listen to the audience and get clear how they want to consume your content. That's for every product or service.

And then make sure that you speak less, so about 20% of the time, and your clients 80, so you can really hear what they are saying. Don't put your filters on it. Oftentimes clients tell me, "Well, I'm afraid to charge, or I'm afraid of the sales conversation, because I think that person doesn't have the money." Don't put your thoughts into their wallet, right? It's always the decision of the client, not yours.

I think these are the crucial things that also keep us from making offers, from inviting people to buy to get to whatever they want to get to because we judge what they are capable of. But in reality, nobody's broken. Nobody needs to be fixed. Sometimes they just need to know a certain thing to close the gap. And if you have that knowledge, then you can close it for them. You don't sell. You invite people to benefit from what you have created.

Susan Friedmann: That is so on target, the idea of inviting somebody. I think that goes back to what we were talking earlier, the value. That if you show the value and you understand, and that's from the listening, what your clients, your prospects need or want more, then you can service them in a whole different way than just saying, "Hey, would you like to buy my book? I just wrote this book. Would you like to buy?"

Christine Schlonski: Definitely, yeah. I'm so happy that you're making this remark. That's another thing I probably just overlooked because I always think about talking about the benefits. Don't go and say, "Hey, want to buy my thing? Want to buy my book? What to buy my, whatever, course." Go and say, "Well, do you like to improve in this way, shape, or form? Do you like to have a solution for X, Y, and Zed?" Talk about the benefits. Talk about what people will get by reading your book. What's the outcome?

Will they be inspired? Will they have a clear strategy on what to do in a certain area? Will they have something that helps their business grow? What is it? What's a special thing you are talking about in your book, and then talk about the benefits that special thing gets them.

Susan Friedmann: That takes a little bit of planning because you really have to know exactly those benefits. Because sometimes you know the value or you think you know the value, because obviously you wrote the book, and you're like, "Yeah, everybody wants to know this or that," but maybe that's not the case. Maybe it's something slightly different, but yet your book, your product, your online course, your training can still fill that gap, but it's not necessarily using the words that you would use.

You talked about listening. I know how important it is to listen, and then use your prospect's language when you're talking back to them and presenting your material. What do you think about that?

Christine Schlonski: Yeah, definitely. I have a slightly different view on prospecting as well. I know we're going to talk about it in a different setting, but what I feel... Strategically yes, you can listen to your prospects. I mean, you talk about the niche. In the niche, obviously the prospects will be similar. They will have a lot in common. Because they have that in common and it is in resonance with your message, I feel you don't need to really force finding that perfect language.

It kind of comes natural when you start listening what they need and when you write your book already in a way that the people you want to serve can perceive it. When you then in the next step talk about the benefits, it will be already in alignment. Does that make sense, Susan?

Susan Friedmann: It does. Realizing, again, that it's the value and the benefits that people are going to buy and not the book.

Christine Schlonski: I talk about the idea of a soulmate client and discovering that soulmate client helps you to basically avoid overcoming objections, because they will not really be there anymore. When you're so honed in on this concept, people will approach you. It's so magical. I have a six months program that I'm just teaching in German. We started the journey about two months ago. Now the first person has gotten their soulmate kind of by accident, which happens. Once you're really, really clear, you realize your soulmate.

You can meet them everywhere, on a plane. I have met a client on the plane too, like you said that story before. You can meet them at events, like everywhere. When you're really sure about who that person is, you don't need to have these arguments. They will feel it. They will know that what you have is right for them. They will basically throw money at you. It's such a wonderful discovery that you will make, how easy it can be without you learning the latest techniques and strategies on how you can use language or NLP to get people into your world.

It will happen in a natural way when you are really aligned with the soulmate client.

Susan Friedmann: Oh my goodness. It sounds so romantic.

Christine Schlonski: It's kind of romantic.

Susan Friedmann: Yes. I'm getting that sense that this is... You're like quoting someone.

Christine Schlonski: What happened when I filled that last group, I didn't do a lot of work, right? I did a workshop so people could experience my work. And then I asked the people afterwards in our kickoff call, I asked them like, "How did you find me? What was your path?" And it was so interesting who they were connected to. One person said, "The first moment I saw you, I knew you are my next mentor. I just knew." When you are so clear on your soulmate, they will feel it. They will come to you. It's kind of like magnetic. It's unbelievable. Sometimes I think like, is this really true?

Is this really happening? But it happens and it's the most beautiful thing when you're so clear on your mission, who it's for. I mean, basically what you talk in your book too, Susan, about going in that niche. And then in this case, the niche is the soulmate because not everybody will be in resonance with your message, with your values. Once you figure that out, it really is where magic is.

Susan Friedmann: That's beautiful and so on target, Christine, because so many authors think that they have a universal message, therefore their book is for everyone. And yet, it may be, but it's really difficult, if not impossible to try and sell to everyone. I mean, not even the greatest of the great do that.

Christine Schlonski: Yeah. You want to sell nine billion books? I don't even know what the number of humans on this planet is right now. That doesn't make sense.

Susan Friedmann: Well, and yeah, if you're trying to sell to everyone, you sell to no one. I've heard that over and over again. I know, Christine, that for our premium members, you've talked about the fact that you'd be willing to take us through a sales conversation. But before that, I would love for you to share, you've got a summit that's coming up in the next few days. Let's share with our listeners what that's all about.

Christine Schlonski: Oh yeah, I'd love to. The summit is called The Profitable Coach. Basically, even if you're not a coach, if you do something that provides value and it's like a service, right, if you have a message, you will greatly benefit from all the amazing experts I have gathered where they talk about tips and advice or what they have discovered in their business. I would love for you to join us, and I'm saying us because Susan is one of the amazing, amazing speakers. We had a really, really deep conversation. There's so many golden nuggets.

I put this together because I want to touch those heart-centered entrepreneurs who do struggle with selling and give them ideas and strategies and options to choose from, so they find something that's aligned and they really can go into being profitable, creating the money they need to create the lifestyle they want and the freedom they want, while serving and also being authentic. I'm super, super excited that you are part of it, Susan. Yeah, I'd love to invite your audience to join us.

Susan Friedmann: Thank you. What an honor, what a privilege it is to be part of the group that you've put together. I'm excited. We will put the registration information in the show notes, listeners, so that you can register for this incredible priceless event. It's free, isn't it, Christine?

Christine Schlonski: Yeah, it's free. When you're listening to it, while we are putting it out live, it's a free event. And then later on, depending when you're listening to this episode, it will also be available that you can watch all the recordings and get everything into your success library.

Susan Friedmann: That's fantastic. There'll be a small fee for that, correct?

Christine Schlonski: Correct. Yes.

Susan Friedmann: Excellent. If you were to leave our listeners with a golden nugget, Christine, what would that be? I mean, above all the incredible nuggets you've already shared, but I would squeeze that lemon a little bit harder.

Christine Schlonski: Yeah, you're very good at this, Susan. Thank you. One thing I really, really want for people to understand is you are selling every single day. Most of the time you're selling for someone else. That means if you get your kids to do the homework, or if you get your friends to watch a certain movie, that's also sales. So by nature, you are probably a pretty good salesperson when you speak with passion, with love, with excitement.

I would love for you to embrace the thought that your book is important for the world and that you need to get it in as many people's hands as possible with the same excitement and love you would tell your friends about the latest and best movies with your favorite actors or actress. Think about sales as love and just go out and share your love as well.

Susan Friedmann: Share your love with the world, your value, your message. Beautiful. You've just shared your value and your message with our listeners, Christine. Thank you so much. This has been amazing. I just love talking to you and listening to this just heart-centered approach. I mean, that's exactly what it is. You epitomize that. Thank you. And thank you all for taking time out of your precious day to listen to this interview, and I sincerely hope that it sparked some ideas you can use to sell more books. Here's wishing you much book and author marketing success.

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