How to Best Confidently Brag About Yourself - BM340

[Susan Friedmann]
Welcome to Book Marketing Mentors, the weekly podcast where you learn proven strategies, tools, ideas, and tips from the masters. Every week, I introduce you to a marketing master who will share their expertise to help you market and sell more books. 

Today, my special guest is Dr. Winifred Bragg, the creator of The Brag Factor, a system that teaches entrepreneurs, business owners, and other professionals on how to own and communicate their value and how to advocate for themselves. She's a nationally recognized speaker, bestselling author, board-certified physician, and business owner who's spoken for Fortune 500 companies and major universities. 

She's appeared in numerous TV and print media programs. She's been published in Red Book, Women's World, and Self Magazine, and her online articles have been read by tens of thousands of people. 

Dr. Bragg, what an absolute pleasure it is to welcome you to the show and thank you for being this week's guest expert and mentor.
 
[Dr. Winifred Bragg]
Thank you, Susan, for inviting me.
 
[Susan Friedmann]
So, as you know, what attracted me to having you on the show is literally this whole idea of “The Brag Factor,” which is wonderful branding considering your name actually is Bragg. So, I think that was brilliant. If you'd be good enough and share with our listeners what exactly is “The Brag Factor”?
 
 [Dr. Winifred Bragg]
 Well, as you said, Brag is my name, and I thought, who better to teach people how to brag than Dr. Brag? But “The Brag Factor” is what people in sales would call their unique sales position. But I say “The Brag Factor” is one of those unique qualities about you that can distinguish you from somebody else. 

Maybe you take and talk about yourself with a couple of sentences, and what would describe you that you could describe yourself in a conversational light way, that you could say something memorable about yourself that describes you. Your unique qualities is what your “Brag Factor “is. And some people say, well, hey, I don't have anything unique about me. But yes, you do. You think about what your friends come and ask you all the time. 

If somebody is always asking you, Susan, does this color go with that color? Then you never thought about that. You may be good in color coordination, you may have the skills for book cover design or decorating or something, but that's your “Brag Factor.” What's that unique special sauce about you?
 
[Susan Friedmann]
Yes. And I love this. And you and I had a little bit of a chat before we came on the air, and I said to you, being British by birth and having grown up there bragging about yourself is just not culturally acceptable. Maybe some of our listeners don't feel comfortable about the idea of talking about themselves or bragging about themselves about what their uniqueness is. How do we overcome that?
 
[Dr. Winifred Bragg]
One of the things is going back to my name, Susan, people think about Brag, B-R-A-G. When you think about brag, I want you going forward. Now, if you have it as a negative connotation, brag and know that that second G stands for gratitude. Because I know that when we live in a state of gratitude, people who show gratitude studies and research have shown that they are more successful and healthier people. So if you can't live in a state of gratitude, it's easier going forward. 

Start today. Get that BR a G out of your head and think of brag B-R-A-G. Because another thing we know, Susan, anger and fear cannot occupy the same space as gratitude. So if you're a person that's living in a state of gratitude and are grateful, you can't be fearful about this anymore because those two things don't go together anymore.
 
[Susan Friedmann]
I love that. That's beautiful. That definitely is going to stick. What about some tips about how to actually go about constructing a brag factor that allows you to share your uniqueness without feeling fearful or angry about how you're doing it?
 
 [Dr. Winifred Bragg]
 Well, one of the things is everything comes with mindset. And one thing you can change your mindset about bragging is change that term. If self promotion bothers you, and that gets you feeling real British about it. And what I want you to do is focus on the work that you're doing and refrain from sales promotion, and then just focus on what is the work, and then focus on the service that you have authors in your audience, and all of them have written books. And if you believe in your book and that your book is going to help somebody, how are they going to know about it if you don't tell them the good qualities of it? Think about what you have bought, the house that you lived in, Susan.

If some realtor of somebody didn't tell you some good qualities about it, basically, the realtor is bragging about, look at this big window. It's overlooking the water. It's whatever he's saying. Look at the blue ceiling. Doesn't it add to it? The sunlight will wake you up every morning. Basically, they're bragging on that house. So what you need to do is focus on what's the service that you're doing, how's your book going to help people. 

When you think about the pain that you're going to resolve for somebody, it would be a shame for you to not tell them the good qualities about it, because that person continues to suffer from whatever that is that you've written about that could have helped them to move from where they are to where they want to be. You understand what I mean, Susan?
 
[Susan Friedmann]
I certainly do. In your book, you talk about six steps to get comfortable with bragging. Would you be good enough to share some of those six steps or all of them?
 
[Dr. Winifred Bragg]

Yes, I can share those steps with you. First you got to define your brag factor, what's unique about you, the characteristics that's going to distinguish you from other people that's the first thing. Then the second thing. Once you know what's unique about you, you have to create what I call your 32nd Brag. That's how you introduce yourself. When you walk up and you're at a cocktail party or networking event, what can you say about you that's going to make people want to know more about you? And that is what I call your 32nd Brag. 

People may call it your elevator pitch, but it's a conversational thing and you may want to tell a little story in your 32nd Brag. Where have you traveled? Other people haven't been or who have you met? Those are all unique things that help you to create what I call a 32nd Brag. Sometimes we work in groups, and this is a problem. When people work in groups, they tend to sometimes say everything the group did and they left out what they did. 

You don't want to neglect your own contributions. That's one of the things that you got to get comfortable with. And then fourth thing, you want to embrace who you are, what are your values, and do this all the time. Showing energy, your face and your tone is very important when you're bragging. You don't want to come around and say something good about yourself and your tone is so low and you're looking all sad and pitiful. So you have to bring joy to the experience and that's what you do. Also in getting comfortable with bragging, you may start off on social media. That way it gives you a little tangent. You're not talking at first, you're putting it out there on your Facebook page. You may be putting it on YouTube, you're doing a video, but putting it on your LinkedIn. But you're doing some posts, maybe bragging about yourself and you'll get feedback. 

We all have a lot of people use Facebook and you have friends, don't you? If your friends can't listen to you practice and rehearse your 32nd Brag, then they really aren't a friend. So you want them to let them practice with you with your 32nd Brag so that you get comfortable with that. And then just make sure that you don't forget to promote yourself and own and communicate your value when you do it. And when you do it from a standpoint of gratitude. The 6th thing is that's what's going to make you not seem cocky and obnoxious because of the framework that you're doing everything from a position of gratitude. In other words, you may say as a backdrop, I may say, I'm Dr. Bragg and I focus on treating people without surgery with back pain. Because I know that in the United States, 6000 back surgeries are done a year, yet we only know 5% of people with back pain need surgery. 

So why don't you come and visit me and see if a nonsurgical remedy may help you. Now you see, I'm kind of bragging on myself, letting them know that I do nonsurgical things and I've treated over 200 people. But basically, didn't I tell you that 6000 surgeries are done a year and only 5% of people need them? That's a service that I'm giving. Anybody would want to know about that if they have back pain. A lot of people think with back pain, what do they need to do that?

They need to have surgery. And so that's the service that I'm telling them. Just like now with bragging, I know that if you don't learn how to own and communicate your value by bragging the right way, you can lose promotions. Your book won't sell, people won't know about you, you won't be able to be on podcast because who's just going to look for you if you don't tell them the good things about you?
 
[Susan Friedmann]
That is so true. Even as much as one of the things that I stress with my authors is that they have to be 120% or more in love with their cover because if they're not, it's going to affect sales because they don't feel good about their book, which the packaging is so important in a book. I've known people who just can't sell their book because they're embarrassed by the cover.
 
[Dr. Winifred Bragg]
Right? Because the cover, like you said, is the leading part. People see that and if their covers are turned out, they're never going to open it up. It's kind of like going on a blind date when he doesn't look good. People, you may not want to get to know him at first. People have to tell you, oh, well, he's so funny, this and the other. You kind of want him to kind of look a little bit of the part as well. Susan, you know what I mean.
 
[Susan Friedmann]
That's a great example. I know that in your book you also talk about or you offer a 32nd brag template. You gave us your brag factor and it was beautiful because obviously you've practiced this a few times. If we're to break that down, what's the template? How could we sort of fill in the gaps, the blanks first?
 
[Dr. Winifred Bragg]

You do that by exercise of writing down two or three sentences that describe what's unique about you and what you want to accomplish with that. What do you want? What is the end thing that you want from that? Now, that was my 32nd drag when I'm doctor waiting for brag and I am talking about back pain. What people need to know is they need to have a bank or several 32nd brag because it depends on where you are and what is the result you want. If I'm speaking to people about the brack factor, they don't care about the back pay. 

They want to care that I coach people, executives, entrepreneurs and business people. And I have helped them to be able to go from not being able to raise their head in a team meeting, to lead in team meetings. I have coached financial planners and advisers to be able to increase their sales because they weren't able to say good things about themselves. That's what you want to fill the gap in. You first have to write in those three or four good things that are unique about you. 

What is unique about you that you think is interesting, that people want to hear about and then always think about? What is the pain that you may be solving for people. It's like I may say, I'm dr. Willing for brag. Bestselling author and trade of the Brag factor. Many people have problems with bragging. Do you if you do, contact me, Dr. Bragg at the Brag Factor, to.com you see how I can make that short and sweet.
 
 [Susan Friedmann]
 Great. It's just so inviting, because I think something else that's coming over so crystal clear is, again, your passion and your conviction of what you're saying. I mean, you sound so believable. Well, obviously you are, because you do this. But that comes over, right? You're not convinced other people can't be.
 
 [Dr. Winifred Bragg]
 Yes. So say if you were a sales person, you may tell them, I have been in customer service over 20 years, and I have helped my customers increase their sales by 10% during the past five years. I would be happy to help you contact me, Drbrag. At the bragactor.com. If I were a salesperson, if I were an author with a book on women who lack self-confidence, I would say, Hi, I'm Dr. Brag. Many people come to me because they lack self-confidence, and once I help them determine their brag factor, they have been able to increase their confidence, and therefore, they were able to sell more books.

 They were able to sell more houses or whatever they want to do. You see what I'm saying? So you have to find out who you're talking to, and planning is key. Susan, just like you plan your financial plan, you plan your estate planning, you have to plan your brags and know where you are, what do you want? And vision. First of all, you've got to have a vision for what you want, and I say make it results oriented. Another example I can give you for filling in the gaps is close your eyes and vision. What do you want from this? What is your vision? 

There's something in the brain called the reticular activating system, and I won't go too deep into that today. But what that is is a filter, and it helps us to filter out our thoughts. So when we all wake up in the morning, research says we have 90,000 thoughts. Most are negative. But if you get up in the morning and say, today, I need to sell some books, I think that I can do it. I'm having a talk on that, and I need to sell some books. 

No matter what people say, I am going to be very positive in my interactions, and you visualize what you want your goal to be that day, then your reticular activating system will move you from a position of obstacles, thinking about your obstacles to thinking about opportunities. Years ago, I think it was 1954, there was a runner named Roger Bannister. He wanted to break the four minute mile. Doctors have said, oh, the body can't handle that. If you do that, you will die. 

This was a 25 year old medical student. He said he was going to do it. If you read his story, what you find out is Roger spent as much time training his mind and visualizing the results of winning the race as he did practicing for it. It was the fact that he hooked his results to some amount of certainty that propelled him to move forward. I say that example to tell you to all the authors out there, you have written a good book. Susan said the coverage, she would know more about that than I am. But you've written a good book that you feel would be a service that's going to help people. So your 32nd brag is going to tell people how you help them. 

What's the service that you're doing for them. And visualize that. How you're going to help people with your book on confidence. With your book on self promotion. How you're going to be able to help these people have a better job. Better career. Better sales. And fix it with the result that's what you want your 32nd brag to do.
 
 [Susan Friedmann]
 Whoa. I think if anything, listeners, you will have listened to just that part over and over again. There was so many gems in that. I was like, okay.
 
 [Dr. Winifred Bragg]
 I could have paused a little bit with that, but I get real passionate about that because so many people knock themselves down. Your mind is one of the most important things we have to do. “The Brag Factor”is actually a five step system. Susan, the 30 steps of brag is just one part of teaching people how to introduce themselves. But it's a system in the first step. We won't go through all five steps here today, but the first step is behave as if. And what? 

Behave as if means model yourself behind someone that's doing what you want to do so you could be successful. And that's why it's important for people to have a mentor, a coach or teacher, so that speed matters, so that the mistakes that you could make, you want to make because someone showed you. So behave as if. That's how you get into activating your reticular activating system to move you toward opportunities. 

In my other book that I'd read, Susan, about dreams, dreams without goals or nightmares, I talk about visualization a lot, because what I learned in research is that millionaires and billionaires, they get up in the morning and they have a morning routine, and they visualize their goal, what they want their day to be alive. And that's what your operators need to do as they are promoting themselves. And then when they get that certainty around of what their service is doing, that's going to empower them and they're going to get some self confidence around what the service that they are given through their book.
 
 [Susan Friedmann]
 Perfect. One word you use that I'm going to focus in on is the word mistakes. And I think you shared some of the mistakes, but what are some other common mistakes that you find people have around this whole concept of bragging? Even doing it, just even saying the words. What are some mistakes around that?
 
 [Dr. Winifred Bragg]
 Some things people do. Commonly we use the word just. Just and only. For instance, you might have sold 400 books today and you say, Well, I only sold 400. Well, I only was able to talk to two people, knock out just and own it because that is downgrading your accomplishments. I removed those from my vocabulary in a way that downgrades me. But I just did that. I only did that. Now if I am the only one that accomplished something good, then that's a good thing. But as a general rule, knock out that Justin only sometimes if people feel not good about bragging, they may go out on their first bragging opportunity. 

They go alone. And if you know that you're one that doesn't have much self confidence, I say you can recruit a bragging buddy, take someone with you, they can attend a networking event with you and they can sing your appraisals for you. Say, hi, this is Susan, she's the author marketer. She helps people with their covers and get their books published. And she's done this for 6000 people, has a podcast with 10,000 people listening in every month. I kind of do that for you and then you do it for me and we call that a bragging buddy. You see how that works?
 
 [Susan Friedmann]
 I like that.
 
 [Dr. Winifred Bragg]
 Right as you do that bragging buddy. And you go around, they brag on you and you see how the people responded when they say things about you. Their eyes are going to be popped and they're going to be excited. Then, you know, those were good things that you can say about yourself. You follow me?
 
 [Susan Friedmann]
 I do. It's so much easier when somebody else does it for you though.
 
 [Dr. Winifred Bragg]
 That's right, that's correct.
 
 [Susan Friedmann]
 You talk about hitting an obstacle in your book. I wanted to touch on that. The obstacle, is that just a negative thought or what else could that obstacle be?
 
 [Dr. Winifred Bragg]
 Could be a negative thought or another thing of when you're looking at your realistic goals. I think that authors we have to write down like any other part of our life. What are our goals in terms of our self promotion. What are our realistic goals in terms of when we're doing our book sales. How we're going to use our book to get speaking engagements or whatever it is you want. What is your realistic goal? So what do you want is the first thing, what is the time frame that you wanted? And then equally, and the most important is what's holding you back? Why aren't you selling books? Why aren't you getting speeches on what's holding you back? 

That's really where the work is done. You have to be realistic. Sometimes we are not honest with ourselves to say that's what's holding me back. People don't know about my book because where am I going to promote it? What have I done on social media? What am I saying about it? If you heard what you call your 32nd brag, which you buy a book for me, what people need to do, a mistake people make is they put the book out in front of them. But you have to stand in front of the book, then put your book but you are the face of the book. The book can't do it for you. 

You are the face of the book. You wrote the content. The book can't talk. Now, I do know they have audible books, but literally, I mean, the book can't talk. You have to talk when you're at a live event about it. Otherwise people would pick it up and read your book. But you put yourself in front of the book, then the book will speak for you.
 
 [Susan Friedmann]
 I love that I'm going to use you as a brag, buddy, because that is so perfect, talking about standing in front of the book rather than behind the book. The book can't talk for you other than, as you rightly say, the audio version. But yes, I mean, the book didn't write itself. The book is in tangible. It's tangible, but it doesn't have the energy, the life that you bring to the book. And that's what's important. And at the end of the day, people are looking at what that book and what your message can do for them, because, yes, buy my book. Well, why should I buy your book? What's in it for me that I need, for instance? Yeah, right.
 
 [Dr. Winifred Bragg]
 So if you think about what is the pain point? You write a book, it had to be some goal. What is the pain you solve? What is the pain? How are you helping people? That goes in your 32nd brag, that goes in your promotion. Because people want to know, like you say, what's in it for me? What is the pain, your assignment for me? And how would I be better or closer to my goal as a result of having read your book? And that's what you're doing, your 32nd brag, you're telling them that you wrote about this and the other. 

As a result, people who read it are able to do whatever you set out to do as a goal in your book. And it's simple, but practice it. Everybody has a phone nowadays, iPhone, Android, whatever you have. And it's easy to rehearse your 32nd brag on your iPhone in the mirror, in your review mirror as you're driving and you practice it and get it smooth and soon you'll wonder, how was I ever afraid of saying something good about me? Because I tell people to do an exercise. 

If you are one that's like, oh, I don't want to brag, make a list in the morning. I am what valuable. I am equipped. I am intelligent. I am the author of Create Your Brag Book, I am Whatever and do some I am about you. And that's going to empower you and give you confidence. And all of that is going to go into making your 32nd brag wonderful.
 
 [Susan Friedmann]
 And you're inspirational and motivational. And how about bragging about how people can get in touch with you? Because I know many of our listeners would love to know more because as I say, you just epitomize everything that you talk about, which is beautiful. So take it away.
 
 [Dr. Winifred Bragg]
 They can reach me at TheBraggfactor.com is my website. From there, they can download some success tools that I have that are free. There they can sign up to get on my mailing list to get free resources. I also have a free chapter for everyone. If you go to The Brag Factor.com, download a chapter and gives you a chapter from my book on how to create your brag book for a competitive job market. It's going to give you those templates that Susan talked about in creating your 32nd brag. It's going to help you determine what is your brag factor. I

t's going to talk about gratitude, but there's a free chapter for you. You can do that. And you can also sign up for my YouTube. I give terrific tips for entrepreneurs and business owners every Tuesday on how to have a terrific Tuesday. And it's the brag factor. YouTube and that's my YouTube station. It's called the brag factor. So you can tune in on Tuesday. Won't take you long, a couple of three minutes. And I'm going to give you a tip to get your mind wrapped around how to have a terrific Tuesday.
 
[Susan Friedmann]
 Fabulous. And I'll put those links in the show notes. We always end with a golden nugget. What's one thing that you want our listeners to take away from this interview?
 
 [Dr. Winifred Bragg]
 I want your listeners to understand that they are authors, that they have spent a lot of time producing a book that they know that can help others. And without bragging about it the right way, they won't reach the ultimate goal of getting that book in the hands of the people that they want the most to help. So start today owning and communicating your value by bragging the right way, and it won't have a negative connotation when you do it the right way because you're going to live in a state of gratitude.
 
 [Susan Friedmann]
 You're going to have that extra g, that gratitude. I love it. Fabulous. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. This has been amazing. Another one of those fabulous episodes, listeners, that you're going to have to listen to again and again because there were so many gems in what Dr. Bragg shared with us. So, thank you. Thank you for taking time out of your precious day to listen to this interview, and I sincerely hope that it sparked some ideas you can use to sell more books. Here's wishing you much book and author marketing success.

Here's how to find out more about Dr. Bragg.